Stalker Diaries
by joayla
Summary: This is me, Bella nearly thirty; mother of two and wife to a good man. My life is good! what more could one ask for. Oh yeah a date with the delectable Edward Cullen. How far will Bella go to catch a glimpse of Edward Cullen.


Ok so I don't own twilight but I am the proud owner of some happy meal binoculars!

Stalker Diaries

This is me, Bella. Nearly thirty; mother of two and wife to a good man. My life is good; I own my own house, drive a nice car, and we run our own business. What more could one ask for? Oh yeah, a date with the delectable Edward Cullen.

So where did that come from you wonder?

Well let me enlighten you.

The last few years, I have become slightly obsessed with a certain set of novels. You know the ones the ones that are slowly taking over the world? The one with the hot brooding vampire. That's right, the ones with the hidden messages that speak out to us housewives convincing us to neglect the hubs, kids and house work. Only joking on that last part.

I've always been a lover of the classics; that combined with a slight interest in all things supernatural, it was always going to consume me. It was fate, so to speak.

Ok, so if I am honest, I am more than obsessed, I read the books in under a week and now, while the kids nap, spend most afternoons feeding my addiction trawling through websites and fan fiction. I haven't managed to pick up that Dan Brown novel that I ordered ages ago from Amazon. It's sitting on my shelf collecting dust while the vampire books' pages are tattered and dog-eared. So shoot me.

So, you may ask, who is this delectable creature, Edward Cullen? Well, he is my angel dropped right out of heaven to drive me crazy. Oh and to everyone else, the drop-dead gorgeous actor- the one with the gorgeous green eyes and the crazy hair consequently, he also plays the romantic lead in the movie adaptation of my beloved series. I tell my Husband that I prefer the character in the books. Come on, we all have a few secrets ladies.

Jake, my hubby, is good with it, really. So long as the family comes first and dinner is on the table, he is happy. What does Edward have that Jake doesn't? Well hell, I don't know. They're both good men, each of them handsome in their own way. Jake is my husband for crying out loud! But Edward is my eye candy. Maybe it's just post-pregnancy hormones?

However, Edward Cullen has brought out the teenager in me; a side that I thought was lost.

Did I ever think I would fall for a ginger? Well did you? My Jake is the polar opposite of Edward; he is tall, dark and handsome personified where Edward is tall, pale and _hot_. And then there are the eyes... Did I mention his eyes? They are something else; the greenest green you have ever seen. And he can give you _the look. _You know, the one that makes your heart flutter and your head spin, all from the confines of a glossy magazine spread. I just don't know how he does it. I think that's my problem; I think I am hypnotized, well at the very least, dazzled by his inherent good looks and charm.

So with my addiction, I try to play it down- keep it low key. I try to stop myself buying every article that has his face emblazoned upon it. I have succeeded slightly on balancing that; otherwise my house would be overflowing with crap and my bank balance in the red. However my hard drive is unfortunately a different story. It has turned into a complete shrine to Edward; my shrine where I worship every day.

So this is my life. Happy housewife infatuated by a celebrity A-lister. How far would I go to feed my addiction? Well... It started innocently enough...

*O*O*O*O*

**Saturday 27****th**** February**

It was a crazy day; Jake had worked late at the garage, so I managed to read a few stories online. My parents came over to visit; Renee did my head in, which was not unusual. Her crazy, excited, free-spirit attitude never fails to whip the kids into a frenzy. Jake would know that my parents had been 'round by the stressed-out look in my eyes when he returned home that night. I finally sat down around ten-ish and grabbed the paper that Charlie had left behind. It was _The Sun _not normally the greatest paper in the world. But I should really check in on the world more often. At least that's what I told myself. It had been a whole two days before I realised that Haiti had suffered a tragic earthquake. In my defense I watch kids' programming all day. Jake swears it's because my eyes are glued to the laptop though. So now I force myself to check in every so often so I can function in the real world. Even if I am trawling though just to catch a glimpse of my favourite celebrity.

And bingo, today I had struck gold! Not only did Charlie's forgotten newspaper feature an article about his new up-and-coming film, but there was a picture of Edward himself looking rather tasty (must remember to cut that out). The article said that he was going to be filming the following week in Kent; as in England. Kent, as in where I frigging live. In some kind of Victorian pump house. I vaguely remembered my brother Emmett going to something like that on a school trip. I _had_ to Google that when I got a chance.

I sat there and subtly looked over at Jake and bit my lip to stop the excited squeal that was about to come from my lips. I knew what I had to do; there was one person who shared my love for Edward and that was Angela. Ok, so she was not on my level of obsession quite yet (I was working on it), and was unable to share my enthusiasm of the fan fiction or the novels, but she had religiously attended all the movies, declaring Edward a _fine piece of ass._ While I enjoyed Edward the famous dishevelled hunk, I could also relate to the character from the books. I had tried many times to convince her otherwise, but Angela resisted for some reason. Alas if she would only sit down and read them, she would realize that she was missing out on so much. But hey each to their own, I was just grateful to have someone to share pictures of the hottie with over coffee.

In that mindset, I sent her a text:

**B - Edward is going to be filming in Kent! squeeeeeeeeee!**

**Sunday 28****th**** February**

Jake was home today so we went out shopping with the kids and didn't get back until late in the afternoon. But whilst at lunch, I had still not heard from Ang, which was unusual. So I her again.

**B –Fancy being a screaming teenager for the day?**

**B- You up? If you are check your e-mail.**

It was rare of Ang to not reply quickly her phone was like a third limb.

**B- Did you get my e-mail and text last night? **

Finally an answer I was getting rather worried.

_**A - Ok haven't seen the e-mail and no text have no idea what is going on**_

**B – Edward is filming in Erith fancy stalking on Tuesday! **

_**A – Still no clearer to what is going on. Who is this bloke should that name mean something.**_

**B- Are you hung-over? **

_**A-I wish I was and I can't do anything Tuesday I am working**_

I sat there, thinking _when did work ever stopped Ang doing what she wanted?_ Then I realised that in my excitement I had totally been texting the wrong Angela. I really ought to sort out my contact list.

**B – Shit sorry Ang I got the wrong Ang having a crazy mum moment still got your girls pressies when can we meet up.**

**A –thought you didn't have my e-mail. Curious now to who you're stalking. I will let you know when I am free to set up a girly night**

**B – let me know dates and Edward is from the teen vamp films he is one of my guilty pleasures and he is filming his new film in Erith, my other friend Angela will be up for stalking so I am gonna try and go. I attached a photo**

_**A – Nice Picture. Mmmm I am jealous now. **_

**B- Ok I will chat later as Jake is frowning at me.**

So that night, the right Angela finally got back to my e-mail that I had sent the night before about Edward's local appearance. She greeted me by screaming down the phone at me. I thought she might be slightly excited and it was kinda infectious. However, Angela has always been a cynic and didn't want to believe the article. She was suspicious as to why the film company would report Edward's location so openly. She tried in vain to convince me that it would be a waste of time, though I knew it was for her own benefit.

After Angela's call I hit the net, eager to investigate prospective locations. To my surprise, there were only four pump houses in the southeast and two were rather close to my home. Could meeting Edward make my dreams come true?

Did I want it to come true? Was it better that he remained an enigma to me? If I met him, would it shatter my dream like when I met Robbie Williams? In all honesty, I did not know what I wanted, but all I could think of was how to get two kids down to see him, no matter how far away it was.

**Monday 1****st**** March **

I dragged the kids to Tot zone today and popped up to the bank for Jake. Nothing exciting. I did, however, find myself buying _Teen Now_ magazine. Yes, the last time I bought such a publication was when I was sixteen, but I could not resist. It had an interview with Edward Cullen as well as his co-star Jasper Hale; at least I had some nice pictures to enjoy over coffee.

Come evening time, Jake was passed out on the settee for the night after a hard day's work. I love the man, but to be honest I was quite happy. It meant I could get a couple of hours to myself and catch up on some stories that had been posted as well as check out the latest blogs. That's when I first saw the intel-to-end-all-intel.

Three people had posted on different blogs stating that Edward Cullen was going be filming at _Crossness Pump House_. I jumped around my lounge silently screaming to myself. I did not want to wake Jake. I instantly texted Angela saying that I would chat with her tomorrow over our usual lunch meeting. I didn't want to tell her anything yet; I wanted it to be kept a surprise since Crossness was in fact the closest location to my house!

**Tuesday 2nd March**

Last night I couldn't sleep with the excitement that was coursing through me. I sat up until the early morning hours, reading fan fiction and trying to calm myself. So when my alarm went off the next morning, I was not ready for it. But drag my sorry ass off to the gym I did.

Angela finally joined me at the gym with Peter, one of the kids she reluctantly child minds, in tow. Once he was safely deposited in his football group, I showed her the articles about Edward that I had saved on my iphone to try and convince her that we should go for a visit to the Crossness pump house. As it was, she had seen some of the delicious intel last night as well. She was quite impressed, though she was reluctant to go with me as she was _on the clock_ so to speak. That was the last we spoke of it, as the kids decided to cause trouble and Angela had to go pick up Charlotte from school.

**Wednesday 3****rd**** March**

Jake decided to take notice of my crazy and erratic behaviour tonight and ask me what was up. Seriously what was I to say?

"Oh, nothing dear, I've just been researching Edward Cullen's whereabouts for the next week so that I can stalk him on Monday!"

Yeah, like _that _was going to happen. I might as well sign the divorce papers right there and then. Some things are best kept quiet, after all. Like the few-too-many pairs of shoes that remain hidden in the back of the wardrobe. Sometimes it's a god-send that I do the accounts.

Tonight is my eBay night; I sold a number of items of a certain teen-vampire-flick variety. It drives Jake insane, but I decided a while back that I might as well cash in on my little obsession. And cash in I did! Jake finally stopped grumbling about Edward-Freaking-Cullen when I netted over five hundred pounds in sales. You're not just a pretty face Bella, mwah!

**Saturday 6****th**** March**

The last couple of days flew by in a blur. I had been really busy with gym and kid's clubs. Jake had also asked me on a few errands and I spent all day Friday shopping at Bluewater with the kids and one of my best friends Alice and her little girl. We spent every Friday shopping as it was her only day off each week since returning to work after maternity leave. Ok, so every week it did include a nice lunch and a bottle of wine and her insisting that I buy a few items for myself.

I chatted to Alice at lunch about where Edward was filming. When she asked where the hell Crossness Pump station was, I was surprised that I did not even know the exact location to the place myself. Other than knowing it was local, I was clueless. At that point I knew some serious research was required.

When Renee and Charlie came today for their weekly visit, I hit the net. Dad was a great help, telling me the best routes of how to get there. Renee, ever perceptive, asked whether I was going to see that guy from those films. Her and her big mouth. How on earth she knew I did not know; however, she confirmed that it was all over the local newspaper. The speed I took out to that recycling bin to dig out that paper was comical. I really should start paying attention to the outside world more often.

The newspaper stated the same as every other article. Edward Cullen would be filming his new movie for three days next week, sometime between the eighth and the twelfth. After mum and dad left, I chatted to Ang for a while before Jake got home. She had finally agreed to come with me, not wanting to miss out on seeing Edward. It was too good an opportunity to miss. We had agreed that we should at least try and go.

After the kids were settled for the night, I started my research. I needed the postcode for the Sat Nav- thank all that is holy for Google- and I wanted a layout of the location so we could find a place to park. Google earth became my best friend. About an hour later, I was sorted. I had the info I needed, so I excitedly texted Ang with my tongue firmly in cheek and a giggle under my breath.

**B - OK so binoculars, camera and video are packed do you think we need handcuffs for our stalking?**

**A – **_**Yeah don't forget the tape.**_

**B – We might have to hide him at yours when we hold him hostage I think Jake might notice**

_**A – I can tie him to the bed as a sex slave xx. **_

**B – Only if I can borrow him love I want him to myself.**

_**A – Ok but I get to go first x. **_

**B – Ok deal as I have a man at my disposal already**

**B – Serious note! Scoped this place out and there is a footpath round the back we should check that out. **

_**A – So you found were it is?**_

**B – Yeah just by Thamesmead golf club gonna Google earth it see if we have to scale a fence.**

_**A – I know the golf club I have been to a party there. Slightly over did the gym this week so no climbing if poss. **_

**B – Only joking about the climbing. **

_**A – Me too can you imagine strapping the kids to our backs!**_

**B – Oooh good idea we can tie Seth to my back and pass Leah and Peter over. We can even chuck them over and blag we are looking for them. (Bad mummy moment I know).**

_**A – Good thinking**____** we could pretend 2 be distraught parents, he can comfort us xx. **_

**B - That was too funny I was going for the putty front.**

**B – Pity.**

_**A – Wondered what you meant by putty.**_

_**A – He could be putty in our hands **___

**B - ok going to go bed now Ang.**

_**A – In mine already night Hun, sweet dreams!**_

**B – of Edward. **

After our crazy texting we were resolved to go down to Crossness at least on Wednesday, as it would be our best chance of seeing him if he would be filming three of the five days. And if he was there, reschedule the rest of the week.

**Sunday 7****th**** March 2010** I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, spurred on by excitement and general giddiness. I spent most of my time trawling through Twitter, Facebook and the internet in general. So I am a social network freak, tweet me. Ang and I had our game plan. We were going to try get a glimpse of the hotness- aka Edward- starting with tomorrow. Yes, we were impatient and could not hold out for another three days.

**Monday 8****th**** March 2010 **

Got up at the crack of dawn having a rough night's sleep. Not only did I feel like an excited teenage girl, but the kids didn't help by not cooperating either. I was half-tempted to travel down there with the kids as soon as breakfast was over. However, in my thorough research over last few nights, I realized that this beautiful location was in fact in the shittiest, roughest part of Thamesmead. Yes Thamesmead Southeast London (the likes of clockwork orange was filmed there too), not the glamorous location of Kent which was advertised. Even though it is only a twenty minute drive from my house, I do not frequent the area due lack of... well, to put it mildly I would not send my worst enemy there. So I decided to go to Tot zone with the kids and await Angela and Peter to finish play group. Safety in numbers.

Once Ang arrived and the kids and two pushchairs were safely tucked into my BMW, we were ready to start the adventure. First we stopped for food and supplies at McDonalds, safely tucking away our happy meal binoculars for later use. We fought to get the kids back into the car and the Sat Nav set up- then we were off. Though irritable kids high on E numbers and car journeys don't mix. Thankfully, it didn't take us long to find the place. The film crew had actually put a little trail of orange markers on the lampposts along the way. Thank you indeed. Though we soon realized that Crossness pump station was indeed a desolate industrial estate. Complete with security gates and guards.

Not letting that get the better of us, we pressed forward. We were more determined than that. Because I was hovering the guard came up and tapped on the window and I rolled it down obligingly. He informed us we could not be here and that we should be on our way. So I used my best womanly charms and said that we were lost, blah, blah, blah. I finally got him to confirm that they were filming on the premises and he reiterated that should be on our way. With all the commotion of winging kids and the excitement of finding the right spot, I forgot the Sat Nav. Which thought that precise moment was the best time to bing "_You have reached your destination." _Busted.

With the building less than 100 meters away from us, we were caught out by the guard. However, I was not going to let a security guard get the better of me! We were on to the next destination in our stalking plan. I obviously watch too much CSI, having prepared for this very contingency by studying the area using my good friend Google Earth. Since it shows a lot more than normal maps, I had spotted a pathway adjacent to the pump house property. _Bingo_. We finally drove around all the neighbouring houses to get to the footpath which happened to be on a golf driving range that backed on Crossness pump house. Armed with my iPhone and Google Earth, we headed out on foot with the kids in tow.

We had not spotted a single soul when we found the dirt track and started marching along the edge of the river Thames. The short track lead us to the foot/cycle path we were looking for. As we headed round the first bend, we struck gold. There was Crossness Pump House in all its glory, visible from the cycle track through a ten-foot wrought-iron fence. We could see the cast and crew trailers and the marquee in place, so we knew we were in the right location. It was all practically within spitting distance of this fence.

It was still eerily quiet; not a single die-hard fan to be seen. My daughter decided to have a hissy fit and started screaming in her non quiet voice, "Mummy, I don't wanna see the man!" Great, blow our cover; we were trying to be stealthy. We carried on walking in order to scope the place out further. Not seeing anyone in the vicinity, we moved further along. On the other side of the marquee was a group of set-fitter guys or something that thought the whole thing was highly comical. To our horror, they decided to shout catcalls at us. Ok, so how was I to know that wearing my hooker boots whilst pushing a pushchair would cause such a commotion amongst a group of 40-year-old men?

After letting the kids watch the boats on the Thames for about an hour, we decided enough was enough. As we were leaving, one of the guys decided more ribbing was appropriate. He called us both yummy mummies and asked why we were leaving so soon, if we were so obviously determined to see Edward. We gave in and talked to the goon though the fence for a few moments, hoping to squeeze some good intel from him. We quickly realized that he was not giving up the info of what day Edward would be there. I was slightly successful in that I had at least confirmed that I had found the right location. I walked away slightly deflated but still hopeful that Wednesday would be another day. Now to see if the car is in one piece.

**Tuesday 9****th**** March 2010**

Last night I was practically bouncing from the walls with excitement.

Tonight absolute mortification!

So what happened?

I had gone to the gym thinking I was going to see Edward tomorrow; however, Angela arrived to meet me for coffee to strategize and get our game plan ready for Wednesday's stalking session. Angela's normally a happy-go-lucky person, but today she had a face like thunder. I was instantly concerned, but lo and behold, as if by magic, Peter's mother was in tow. Great, just spoil a perfectly good afternoon's coffee session. Once Peter and his mum were finally off bonding on their own, Ang informed me that she had the rest of the afternoon off work.

It was fate!

I was practically bouncing with excitement; we could go stalking after all. Armed with Styrofoam cups of coffee (it was bloody cold yesterday) we were all packed into the BMW again. Minus Peter, thank Christ. We floored it out of the car park, and once again, we were headed again into the deepest darkest depths of Thamesmead. Today I decided to park in the golf course car park for safety. However, it turned out to be a desolate car park with a lone Caravan in the corner. I may have to rethink that safety assumption.

We unpacked the car and loaded my kids in the pushchair at Guinness Book speed, and practically ran along the dirt track. As we hit the bend, we stopped dead in our tracks.

Not good.

Not good at all.

The marquee was gone! That was not a good sign; the websites all said that Edward was filming three days this week! Today was only Tuesday.

My life was crumbling around me as my hopes were dashed further and further. So I can be a little melodramatic. Sue me. We walked closer to the building; we could see the two rows of giant sandbags that had been anchoring the marquee down. The marquee was now in pieces on the ground. The place was a hive of activity with guys loading equipment into pickups.

We carried on walking, trying not to look like we were crazy stalkers. After we had walked a sufficiently non-stalker distance, we decided to turn back to the car. As we approached the pump house for the last time, The Goon was back from yesterday. Great. I just wanted to go home and curl up with my depression. But The Goon had managed to get into his tiny skull that we were actually there to see him. Really!

Since he was no longer sworn to secrecy, as he put it, he _regrettably _informed us that _the Edward_ was there that very morning, at the _crack of dawn_. I was not even up! For Christ sake, I have two kids under three! And it was all wrapped up! In a snappy moment, I commented sarcastically "You could have told me that yesterday!"

His reply, "You could've gave me your numbers yesterday, ladies. I would have called you!"

Yeah, ok mate! Edward you are not. Honestly. Why would I be trespassing down a dirt track if slightly balding and pushing 40 in age and midriff was my idea of heaven? I could find many a specimen with that description in any pub in England. In fact, I have better at home already.

We bid him and his mates, who obviously thought chatting to stalker women and their kids was more exciting than working, farewell. As I went to turn away, The Goon thought he would be smart and ask if we were coming back to see him again tomorrow! Honestly, no means no. Somberly, we went back to the car and went home to crack open the cookies. So much for the gym.

I logged online and there was the picture that I never wanted to see, taunting me. (Yet here I was, drooling over it!) There was Edward, walking by those fucking sandbags that were anchoring the marquee, along the side of MY fence! Yes, the fence I had successfully stalked out!

I was gutted. He had been there, and all I could think of was so close, yet so far away.

Just soooo gutted.

I have learned my lesson. What is that, you ask? Perhaps, stalkers never prosper? No; next time he is in town, go straight after breakfast.

*O*O*O*O*O*O*O

A/N

A really big hug goes out to edward-bella-harry-ginny-ebhg firstly for convincing me to write this in the first place and for sorting out my crappy spelling.

Go check her out! http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1730508/

As wonderful as ebhg is I do seriously need a M-rated Beta so any offers would be fantastic.

You can follow me on twitter under joayla

I am not gonna beg or promise you the world if you review. However it would make me smile if you did!


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